Blade Trinity
R E V I E W   B Y   R I C H   C L I N E dir-scr David S Goyer
with Wesley Snipes, Ryan Reynolds, Jessica Biel, Parker Posey, Kris Kristofferson, Dominic Purcell, Natasha Lyonne, James Remar, John Michael Higgins, Triple H, Callum Keith Rennie, Mark Berry
release UK/US 8.Dec.04
New Line
04/US 1h53

Day-stalkers: Biel, Snipes and Reynolds

snipes reynolds posey
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Writer Goyer takes the directing reins for this third entry in Marvel's vampire-superhero series, and he's clearly learned how to create the action movie look. Unfortunately, despite some cool casting he never does anything interesting with it all.

Some ancient evil has been awakened in the Sumerian desert. The villainous Danica (Posey) is plotting something horrible involving the original Dracula (Purcell). So day-walking vampire hunter Blade (Snipes)--whose able sidekick (Kristofferson) keeps dying on him--teams up with a group of anti-vampire rebels (led by Reynolds and Biel) to fight Danica's evil plan. Meanwhile, a tenacious FBI agent (Remar and Berry) is on Blade's trail. Chaos ensues.

Honestly, the story is complete gibberish, with only the kind of goofy logic a child would come up with. Like previous Blade movies, the characters waste a lot of time punching and shooting, even though it has no effect on their opponents. But the real problem is that nothing remotely grabs us, since Goyer's direction is all surfaces and no substance. At least his script is witty, keeping us chuckling at the sharp dialog and camp characters.

And the cast is great fun--mostly Reynolds with his hilariously smart mouth and surprising physicality. Posey puts the vamp in vampire, chewing the scenery gloriously and showing us just how a fanged-snarl should look. Biel has her moments, although her character isn't given much personality. Strangely, the weakest character is Blade, and Snipes seems utterly bored--wiry, gaunt and too sleepy to be fighting the baddest vampire who ever lived.

This is a very loud movie--visually and in sound and music--and utterly exhausting. It doesn't help that the action is incomprehensible; most characters are completely undefined and most dialog only requires basic growling and spitting. It's loaded with homophobic references even as its male characters are little more than gay icons, complete with leather outfits and muscled bare-chests. yes, this is a film about haircuts, costumes and dramatic poses, explosions and steam and shattered glass. And if you're in the right mood, that may be all you need.

cert 15 themes, violence, language, innuendo, gore 2.Dec.04

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2004 by Rich Cline, Shadows on the Wall